I really wish I could have some kind of do-over in high school. I mean, I guess the only thing I would really change is how I was under the illusion that I was going to somehow manage to get into college with shitty grades and absolutely nothing impressive on my transcript, but it looks like instead my sentence might be another year in Minnesota. Granted, I've only heard back from one of the three schools that I've applied/am going to apply to, but I don't feel like there's anything that's going to really give any other school any more reason to admit me.

Needless to say, if I'm still commuting between school and home and working at Snuffy's this time next year, I'll probably take a drink out of the deep frier.

dear lyfe,


sometimes - not all the time, but sometimes, you are a real disheartening cunt.

New years resolution: Double up on socks. Everywhere I go I feel like my feet are on the verge of turning black and falling off. Maybe I'll take the outtermost pair from one day and wear them on the inside the next day so I don't create a ridiculous pile of laundry. I don't really know if that would be gross or not.

Pitch for a new TV show on TLC: It's called "Wouldn't That Fucking Suck?" I can't decide yet, but it's either going to be about the obese, midgets, the deformed, or a family with way too many kids. Maybe all of those things at once.